by Nick Quaglietta, 1985

How do I hate thee, let me count the stairs
I hate thee to the depth, breadth, and height your halls can reach
With fond memories of hot summer days when I stuck to your seats
While all the while wondering why I wasn’t sitting on the beach.

Can you understand what feelings of total disgust are like?
Maybe a faculty member can’t, but you know I do
Look it up in G&G and you’ll find Mugar under emetics
Mugar, I just thought you’d want to know how we all feel about you.

So many times I had to be in 117 by 8:00
I couldn’t find a worse way to start off my day
And the doctors always dared to be so wide awake
When we knew they got the money we had to pay.

Those dirty, dingy floors and multicolored corridors
What an interior decorator would call modern Technicolor yawn
At last our wonderful days in Mugar have come and gone.

Now I mustn’t forget the dear DIC
The only decent place on campus where kids could talk
And wherever I did manage to decide that I should try to study
I would to there at night to find the door had been locked.

I once thought the summer of 1985 never would arrive
I still can’t believe that I don’t have to get up tomorrow
Someone please remember to say goodbye to Amelia for me
I’ll have a parting on the rocks, hold the sweet sorrow.